I am currently sitting on my bed, trying my best to be motivated to write the last essay of my sophomore year of college. I hate working in silence, so I like to put either music or white noise on in the background; so I decided to put my whole Spotify library on shuffle. All of a sudden, "In over My Head (Crash over Me)" by Bethel Music comes on. In this song, Jenn Johnson beautifully sings about allowing the Lord to use us as a vessel for whatever He wants to use us for. Even though we stray away and we do not listen to the 'plan', she sings about how the Lord takes control over what we are doing and what we are going through in order to captain the ship that is our lives when we get in over our heads. -------------------------------------------------- Here are the lyrics: "I have come to this place in my life I’m full but I’ve not satisfied This longing to have more of You And I can feel it my heart is convinced I’m thirsty my soul can’t be quenched You already know this but still Come and do whatever You want to I’m standing knee deep but I’m out where I've never been I feel You coming and I hear Your voice on the wind Would you come and tear down the boxes that I have tried to put You in Let love come teach me who You are again Would you take me back to the place where my heart was only about You And all I wanted was just to be with You Come and do whatever You want to And further and further my heart moves away from the shore Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours And further and further my heart moves away from the shore Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours Then You crash over me and I’ve lost control but I’m free I’m going under, I’m in over my head And You crash over me, I’m where You want me to be I’m going under, I’m in over my head Whether I sink, whether I swim Oh it makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head And whether I sink, whether I swim It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head I’m beautifully in over my head Beautifully in over my head" -------------------------------------------------- I just wanted to share about this song for a moment because it is so applicable to my life lately. I know I have not been on here just talking about my feelings and the ways that the Lord is moving in my life lately and for that I am sorry. It's been a hard few months and God has been continuously teaching me that he is captaining my ship even when I refuse to let go of the steering wheel. He is not letting me drown even when I won't let go and end up with water over my head. The lyrics of this song are so powerful because it is a cry for God to help us stop fighting for control. The sooner we can realize that if we hold on to the wheel, we are going to drown, the sooner we can give up control and allow Him to steer us back to the shore safely. She sings "Whatever may come I am Yours!" How amazing is that. Whatever happens, and however deep a hole we dig ourselves into, God never lets go of us and he is never going to let us drown. I love how in the last lines, she sings about being beautifully in over our heads. Now, that may sound off because when is drowning ever beautiful. But, I love this analogy so much! I am in over my head all of the time, this school year especially. I do not know what will happen in the future, I do not know what will happen with some family things that have come up, I get stressed out so much over grades, I've gotten very fearful of being alone, and I feel like I am holding on for dear life to the control I think I have. I am in over my head, I often feel as if I am drowning. BUT! God promised to rescue us from that state. He promises that He is not going to give us more than we can bear. He promises to strengthen the weak and renew the powerless. So it is beautiful when we get into those low points. It is beautiful not because of out state, but when we reach our end and fully let go and abide in God's work and allow him to do what He's gonna do, we get to witness the BEAUTY that God creates out of the mess that we've made. For me, this song is for when I get to the end. I am fully "under, over my head" and God comes in and "crashes over me" and fully takes control of the situation. So, my prayer is to let God rush in over my head so that I can watch Him work. My prayer is to allow God to change my mess into the beauty that only He can create. I hope that this helps someone because I know it is a message that I need to hear as well. My challenge to you is to just stop trying to save yourself from the waves, let them crash over you and let God come in and beautifully save you from the storm you are in.
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Hello friends! I did a little haul of some of the things that I have gotten while I have been living abroad. As my time comes to a close (going home in 6 days!!!) I thought this would be super fun! Enjoy! Truly, Taylor Hello friends! I filmed a little tour of my flat at Sussex Uni and I hope you like it! I have also been posting on my instagram (@taybeth1) and the fashion section of my blog more than I am here so check those out if you want to see more from me! Much Love Truly, Taylor First off, I am very sorry that I went radio silence for the past month+. I have been majorly uninspired, incredibly homesick, and overall just not in the best place mentally and emotionally. I am hoping to get back to regular posting soon and I have some content from December that I still need to post. That being said, I wanted to make a video that 1, explains why I have been so quiet, and 2, explains the meaning behind the newest edition to my body! I got my first tattoo and I think that should complete my quarter life crisis. Started by chopping all, well most of, my hair off and now I have permanently put writing on my skin. I'm fine I swear! Anyways, if you want more info and to properly see the tat, head over to my youtube channel and check out the video! Also, subscribe if you want to be updated on the next adventure I post! Much love for each and every person who supports me! See ya soon Truly, Taylor Hello friends and Happy New Year! 2017 was one for the books. I had some of the best times of my life, and some of the hardest times. This year I moved across the globe, 5,279 miles away from home and since then I have been trying to learn how to live with homesickness and adapt to a new culture. So, I wanted to post a blogpost recapping memorable things that happened each month in my life so that I can look back on it and remember my 2017! I hope you enjoy! januaryJanuary started by ringing in the new year with two of my best friends and some fireworks and ended by visiting an adorable French Bulldog at the pet store. FebruaryIn February, I did a 7 hour road trip to California from NAU by myself so that I could spend the weekend with My Blonde Alivia. We visited the Grove and LACMA and took some pretty rad pictures with the lights. MarchMarch gave me the gift of Spring Break and Reagan and I went to Mississippi to visit my grandparents on our family farm. We explored Memphis, Tennessee and then headed down to Etta to the farm. It was a great trip and we went into town and drove down Greek row at Ole Miss. March also brought me great times with great friends at NAU. Definitely missing McConnell and my squad. AprilApril consisted of a lot of planning and preparation for McConnell Hall's McCarnival. My community council and I worked really hard to create a campus wide event and if I do say so myself, it was a massive success! I also got attacked by a puppy at the carnival so that was definitely a highlight! MayMay started by saying goodbye to my 7,000-ft-up home and got accepted into my study abroad program in the UK! Then I spent a week in my favorite city, New York City, on a merchandising class! It was such a great week and I learned so much about the industry and fell back in love with it and the city! I also tried on the biggest, $2 million dollar ring that I have ever seen in my life and had the biggest, most-chocolatey milkshake at Black Tap. Then I got back to AZ and started my new job as a stylist at David's Bridal! JuneJune started by celebrating Father's Day at church and I wanted to include this because I love the family photo that we got! I also got some fun pictures with two of my best, and oldest, friends! Then my sweet Courtney came all the way from Virginia to spend two weeks with me! We had a lot of laughs and I can not wait to see her again! JulyJuly started off with a bang celebrating the fourth with some amazing friends! Get it, bang... because Fireworks! Then Jackson, Reagan and I embarked on a road trip to San Fransisco to spend some time together without Mom and Dad before I left for England. The trip was amazing and we had so much good coffee and made some great new friends! AugustAugust was a very full month! It started with a very fun makeover from my friend Kayla, which I am still living for! Then I visited my blonde at work and I just really love the pictures we took so I wanted to include it! Then my dad and I went to the Braves game for the second year in a row. S and I went downtown to have a coffee date and photo shoot, Reagan and I went to the top of a parking structure for a dance party and photo shoot (lots of photo shoots in August!) I went to the ADF Areté academy to learn more about defending my beliefs in university and the workplace, and I ended the month by flying to spend a week with my wonderful family in Florida. We also got to see the solar eclipse by creating our own special sunglasses. SeptemberAt the beginning of September, I drove up to NAU to visit my squad before moving! Then I got my hair darkened before England, I just wanted to include this because I really like this selfie, sorry! Then I did the hardest thing I have ever done and I moved to Brighton, England. My dad accompanied me and helped me move in and we got to explore London for a day before he left. Then my flatmates and I partied on the pier and I started to take in Brighton's history. OctoberIn the month of October I went to Seven Sisters with a group of International Students and made my first American friend since moving here! I experienced fall, or excuse me Autumn, in the UK. I drank way too much coffee, but what's new. And I got a new hat that I LOVE! NOvemberNovember took me on an adventure to one of, if not the most, recognizable historic site in the UK. I went on a day trip to Stonehenge and then visited the fashion museum and the baths in the Roman city of Bath. Then I went on a life changing weekend away with some of my new friends! Then I celebrated Thanksgiving in a very different way, and went back to Seven Sisters! DecemberAnd here we are at the last month of the year! This December was extremely hard for me as I was dealing with a lot of homesickness especially being away for the holidays. At the same time, I went to my church's Christmas Concert, went on some amazing adventures, and made new friends and memories in Spain and Scotland! I even met up with one of my Areté friends in Madrid, what a small world! I also spent a very cold night in a train station and I now can tell you that I will NEVER do that again! And last night I rang in the New Year with my church as we celebrated the name change and the promise that God is with us! And that is my year in review! I love pictures and this blog because I can look back on my memories and relive them! Thank you for reliving them with me! I love you all and Happy New Year! Make 2018 the best one yet, I know I will be trying to. Much Love Fam!
Truly, Taylor |